Monday, September 9

08:11 - My lands, this Blotter will once again lack in the raising of your blood pressure by offering any exhilarating tidbits of news. I noticed the fight at the Downieville Post Office was not mentioned in the Sheriff’s report. Did you hear about the lady who licked a stamp? Thanks for the joke, James! Just a typical conversation in the kitchen at Sabrina’s At the Forks! Brace yourself for a few more jokes here and there. At 08:11, there was an accidental burglary alarm in Sierra City. How exciting!

10:13 - Probationer checks in per the custom in Downieville.

12:30 - Medical issue in Downieville.

14:18 - Injured mountain lion cub in Verdi.

16:56 - Ambulance requested in Loyalton.

18:11 - Deputy dispatched an injured deer in Sierraville. This entry, specifically “dispatched,” reminds me that there is a bar of soap made by the company “Outlaw” on my wish list that smells like gunpowder, campfire, whiskey, and sagebrush. Could be a great stocking stuffer with the holidays coming up. You’re welcome!

18:51 - Report of threats made in Sierraville.

21:55 - One in Sierraville arrested for a DUI. Remember the old saying, “It’s not how many times you fall, it’s how many times you get back up” is not applicable to field sobriety tests!

Tuesday, September 10

07:13 - Prisoner transported to court. Did you hear about the man arrested for impersonating a helium balloon? The deputy held him for a while then let him go! Come on, that was funny!

09:28 - Agency assist with answering 911 calls for another county! Teamwork!

09:44 - Property found in Downieville.

13:09 - Downieville caller indicates a lock was cut and their front door was written on.

13:50 - Juvenile problem in Loyalton. It must be tough to be a teen in 2024. Being Gen X - I will say it is nice our past shenanigans are mostly undocumented as there weren’t cell phone pics, videos, or tracking apps. Sure, we had Polaroids and, of course, Kodak disposable cameras for which we waited two weeks for the pictures to be developed, printed, and ready for pick up at the drug store - pictures that often brought on a wave of severe disappointment thanks to blurriness and red eyes galore! But, in many ways we had beautiful, glorious, unbridled freedom! Those were the days!

16:23 - One sentenced and remanded to jail for things I don’t want to even list. Her picture was on the front page of last week’s edition.

19:40 - Civil service performed in Goodyears Bar.

20:18 - Incident of “threatening driving behavior” in Calpine documented.

Wednesday, September 11

I will pause and take a moment to remember all the lives lost on this date in 2001. Many heroes surfaced in this atrocity. The first responders...some gave all. May their souls rest in peace.

06:59 - 911 hang-up in Sierra City.

07:15 - Accidental 911 call in Downieville.

07:57 - CHP notified of two loose cows near Vinton. But I wonder why the two cows didn’t like each other? Because they had beef!

09:58 - Report of lock cut at the Alleghany Transfer Station.

11:23 - CHP handling a parking issue in Downieville.

14:02 - Accidental fire alarm activated in Loyalton.

14:03 - Ambulance requested in Loyalton.

15:56 - Vehicle impounded in Loyalton.

18:02 - Ambulance requested in Loyalton.

18:20 - Report of reckless dirt bikers in Downieville. Deputy made contact with the drivers but didn’t see any crazy driving.

Thursday, September 12

00:13 - Reported mountainside fire near Calpine checked by deputy. Nothing found. USFS notified.

03:31 - Caller requesting information about incident at Stampede Reservoir was out of luck because the Sheriff’s Office was not aware of said incident.

06:39 - Accidental fire alarm in Loyalton.

08:13 - Trespassing reported in Loyalton.

08:35 - The injured deer on the side of a Loyalton road was gone when deputy arrived. Either the deer walked off the injury, or someone made stew. It’s really about that time for some warm, hearty, savory venison stew! Today, the high in Downieville is 64 degrees! The Florida in me declares this is freezing weather! I asked hubby if we could turn the heater on last night...he said no. Whatever.

09:08 - Use of the Sierra County K9 was requested by Plumas County.

20:56 - Illegal campers near Ramshorn were encouraged by law enforcement to move along.

Friday, September 13

08:02 - A black calf is out on the road south of Sierra Valley. How did the farmer find the missing cow? He tractor down! Pretty corny joke I know. But don’t despair; I’m sure there will be another one real soon! Honestly, I’m not sure who tracked the cow down, but CHP is surely tired of being tasked with this duty!

09:56 - Cows loose on Sierra Brooks road. What does the farmer talk about while milking a cow? Udder nonsense!

11:26 - Juvenile issue at Downieville Elementary. Side note: You couldn’t pay me enough to be a teacher. They put up with so much crap. Don’t get me started. One local keeps asking me to apply to the school. I keep telling him I am loyal to this fine institution - writing this column is the highlight of my week, not to mention I’m also busy moonlighting at a magical eatery, Sabrina’s At the Forks. You don’t want me at that school. I’ll last about five minutes. After the first kid mouthed off to me - I’d be in the Blotter. Check out “Eddiebcomedy” on social media. He’s for the teachers and is hilarious!

11:34 - Environmental Health notified of a garbage truck leaking large amounts of oil in Downieville.

13:09 - Deputies assisted with traffic control during LHS homecoming parade.

17:10 - Possible illegal campers near Verdi.

18:26 - Concern over campfires at Gold Lake Campground. Well this incident falls in the jurisdiction of Plumas National Forest and the rules are different. I don’t know why they are different. I thought I heard Smokey the Bear say he wishes the national forests in our area would get on the same page. Keep it simple for the not-so-bright folks, and maybe we will have fewer forest fires. Just a thought.

18:33 - “Deputy helped a citizen to get from Sierraville to Graeagle.”

19:32 - Deputies provided patrols throughout the night for LHS conducting their “Man Hunt” event, a town-wide game of hide & seek and tag. That sounds awesome!

19:39 - Deputies separated folks at a campground in Sierraville. Why can’t we all just get along?

21:04 - Prank callers from out of state. They apologized. Well, at least there was an apology. If you are over the age of 50 and never learned to say “I’m sorry” for your daft behavior- you haven’t grown up!

21:31 - Deputy gave a dirt biker in Loyalton notice their bike would be towed if any further tomfoolery arose.

22:16 - Driver cited in Sierraville for going 25mph over the speed limit. A driver asked the officer why he was crying as he was writing the ticket. Officer responded, “It’s a moving violation.”

22:58 - Deputy encouraged illegal camper set up along the scenic byway to move along.

Saturday, September 14

02:29 - CHP notified of reckless driver near Loyalton. Why is a CHP officer the strongest person in the world? Because they can stop a 10-ton truck by simply holding up their hand!

11:32 - Medical issue at Logger Campground. Ambulance responding.

11:48 - Calpine resident recovers lost/stolen cell phone.

13:35 - Citation issued near Sattley for no registration or proof of insurance

14:58 - Deputy ensures two hunters off of County Road 12 are legit. What’s the difference between a hunter and a fisherman? A hunter lies in wait while a fisherman waits and lies. That’s funny!

18:50 - Deputy provides directions to a lost soul in Sierra City.

19:35 - Deputy unable to find reported drunk driver leaving Downieville despite searching in either direction. So... this gal gets pulled over by a deputy. Deputy asks her to say the alphabet starting with the letter “M.” “No problem,” she says. “Malphabet!” That’s hilarious! But seriously... don’t be a jackass and drive while intoxicated!

21:16 - Caller reports “suspicious male” is walking near their residence. No crime was committed.

Sunday, September 15

01:00 - CHP handling a welfare check on a tow truck driver that last pinged in Sierra County.

11:27 - Loyalton caller provided information on a trespassing incident.

14:44 - Caller in Loyalton reports a possibility someone hanging around town has a warrant.

16:33 - Vehicle accident outside the county.

17:03 - Request for property check in Sierra City.

23:31 - Deputy responded to a noise complaint in Sierra City. Music turned down. Speaking of music...what do a deputy and a DJ have in common? They both tell drunk people to put their hands up! Well that’s all folks! We made it to the end of a humdrum Sheriff’s Blotter week! If Sierra Countians don’t get into mischief every now and then, we will all suffer in boredom together reading about cows! Again, I suppose the deputies and CHP can use a break before pulling-folks-out-of-the-snow-season arrives!

Total Reported: 61