Pretend It’s a Forest

By the time this column is published, we’ll have a new president-elect of the United States, and regardless of the outcome, some people will be disappointed. As we work to process either satisfaction or the stages of grief—acceptance being the hardest—we must remember that we all, unfortunately, coexist in this shared space, and a basic level of decency is still expected from everyone in this already divided country.

On the bright side, there may be one thing that can bring us together: the end of political ads. They’re aggressive, alarming, and interrupt our attempts to enjoy “Best Funny Cat Videos of 2024.” This, dear reader, is a small step toward unity and an opportunity to focus on the kinds of differences and divisions that really matter, because, like it or not, humans share that impulse. So, at your own discretion, align yourself with one of these categories; divisive though they may be, they aren’t as hurtful as politics.

Cats vs. Dogs: This age-old debate has been around since early civilizations: which pet is better? Your choice reveals much about you and your personality, so choose wisely. Your decision will place you in a group of like-minded people—either those who enjoy belly rubs, being loud, and going for strolls, or a more solitary group that simply wants to be left alone because nap time is more important than socializing—no meetings necessary.

White vs. Red Wine: If you pick a side quickly, you’re a snob and belong to the group of wine enthusiasts, typically gathering around a charcuterie board. But if you’re the undecided type who’d rather choose a beer, you’ll find your circle at the St. Charles.

Books vs. Movies: This one will place you in a very specific group of people and could determine whether you’re liked or not. To avoid further divisions, let’s allow that this particular group can enjoy both forms of entertainment, with the hope of a healthy balance between visual media and literature. However, your choice of content in either will be highly judged.

While belonging is part of human nature and choosing sides that align with our principles and beliefs is part of life, respect and tolerance should always be key to building a healthy and strong community—at least until the next divisive debate, be it turkey or ham, pulls us into taking sides again. But for now, locals, old-timers, newcomers, tourists, and visitors from other galaxies—let’s pretend that, after this election, things will go back to normal, when politics were just politics, and passions and rivalries were reserved for something more mundane, like sports.