After receiving numerous questions about the meaning behind the title “Pretend It’s a Forest,” and with the recent leak of my anonymity leading to my column being shared among coworkers worldwide, I’ve decided it’s time to address the situation. Some might ask, “What does she mean by ‘Pretend It’s a Forest’? It is a forest!” And they’re absolutely right. The point is that some people overlook — or choose to ignore — that simple fact.
But as the old saying goes — pardon the cliché — common sense isn’t as common as we’d like to think. In my opinion, it’s in decline, much like our senses of touch and taste — metaphorically speaking, of course. While common sense is shaped by each person’s experiences and background, there’s still a universal standard based on basic knowledge and judgment that any functional adult should be able to understand.
So, let’s get to the point. When I first moved to Downieville, I had the pleasure of meeting Carl and Ryan. Being a writer, I thought it would be a good idea to pitch a column to them. But having an intention doesn’t always mean you have a concept. Inspiration finally struck after my first bear encounter. I knew bears were around, I knew they were real, and I knew it was spring. So, what was I expecting, a cartoon bear in a hat and tie? It’s a freaking forest! — and now you see where I’m going with this.
“Pretend It’s a Forest” is a sarcastic yet polite response to everyday occurrences in the Sierras. Inspired by Fran Lebowitz’s iconic phrase “Pretend It’s a City!” — a line she shouts at people blocking the sidewalk in New York City while glued to their phones — I decided to create this column. Like Fran, my common sense is deeply rooted in city life, having grown up in Guadalajara, Mexico — a city of 1.46 million people. Now, living in Downieville, where only 200 familiar faces reside year-round, there’s much to learn. So for now, when in doubt, I’d rather pretend I have some forest-common sense and react accordingly.
To illustrate, here are my top five moments (so far) in Downieville where “Pretend” serves as the perfect response to things that might be confusing to some yet are too obvious for others:
“A bear broke into my car and stole my snacks.” – Pretend it’s a forest; what were you thinking?
“A landline, that’s so ’80s.” – Pretend there are remote communities. Yes, we’re looking at you, AT&T.
“No fireworks, just bubble wrap, huh?” – Pretend wildfires exist. Don’t even get me started on that.
“The food is too fresh and not greasy enough.” – Pretend it’s not a chain restaurant. Head back down Highway 49.
“I was invited to a bear’s funeral.” – Again, pretend it’s a forest. There’s nothing weird about that.
As the seasons change, I’m sure I’ll encounter more surprises and gain even deeper insights into life in the Sierras. Maybe someday, pretending won’t be necessary. But for now, whether you’re a local, an old-timer, a newcomer, a tourist, or a visitor from another galaxy, let’s just pretend you’re enjoying this read — so Carl and Ryan keep publishing this column while I entertain you as I navigate this new way of living.