While Downieville is best known for its biking culture, the things I like about this town have little to do with that. This might sound surprising to the over 2,000 visitors expected for the Classic, but here’s an even bigger shock: I don’t bike at all.

My aversion comes from a traumatic experience at age 12 when I crashed into a street vendor (no sweet bread or humans were hurt in the incident). Since then, I’ve come to see biking as more about survival than enjoyment. So, I’ve decided to steer clear of any biking-related activities.

However, I still plan to participate in the festival events because if there’s one thing I always want to do, it’s have fun. The tricky part is dealing with the crowds, which bring both conflict and curiosity for me. With this, I’ll offer an unsolicited perspective where I’ll compare my predictions versus accuracy, providing insights from someone who has never attended the festival and isn’t into biking.

I started writing this column on July 9th, 2024 and will continue after attending the festival next week to share my experiences.

PREDICTIONS

Noise pollution: Bro sounds, bikes, and overly enthusiastic people.

Tons of drinking: Great for those in the aluminum recycling business.

Poor fashion choices: Lycra and polyester everywhere, which should be banned in public spaces.

Home cooking: Long lines will force locals to cook their own meals on the weekend.

The longest Sheriff’s Blotter column of the season.

Fun: Assuming public behavior doesn’t get out of hand.

A heatwave: As a result, a sunburn parade.

ACCURACY OF PREDICTIONS

Noise pollution: Unfortunately, it was experienced by the release of bodily gas expulsions from a group of “gentlemen” at a neighboring table.

Tons of drinking: Moderate drinking was seen among the bike contestants, but I can’t say the same for the bystanders.

Poor fashion choices: While outfits weren’t precisely couture, cotton fabric ruled over polyester, which is a win.

Home cooking: Hungry people and long lines drove restaurants’ favorite menu items to sell out quickly, but no home cooking was required.

The longest Sheriff’s Blotter column of the season: To be confirmed.

Fun: For the most part, the public behaved, and the River Jump making a comeback was a total hit.

A heatwave: The fun distracted the audience from staying hydrated, causing heat exhaustion in some people.

Although I didn’t get all my predictions right, one thing I did expect and that stood out from the rest was the huge sense of community. It’s impressive to see how much effort and passion is poured into making an international event of this magnitude happen year after year. But for now, locals, old-timers, newcomers, tourists, and visitors from other galaxies, let’s pretend that mountain biking is cool because it keeps our local economy relevant and strong, and we can proudly call our home “The mecca of mountain biking” — even if it’s not our thing.