New Nevada City Group Takes Aim at Political Division

NEVADA CITY — “This is so great!” enthused a recent participant in a new Nevada County group organized to learn how to disagree better. “This man [I’m talking with] has a totally different political view, and we don’t have to be angry antagonists. I’m just so happy to say my piece and feel heard. This is so great!”

Another participant, dismayed by the divided world her thirteen-year-old twins are growing up in, has long suspected the value of listening with curiosity. She recently shared her delight at participating in structured monthly face-to-face practice conversations with political perspectives dramatically different from her own. She says, “If we don’t practice listening, we don’t build that ‘muscle.’”

Aware of the often-painful struggle between those who find themselves with sharply opposing political views, several Nevada County non-profits co-sponsored a live event last November to address de-polarizing such conversations. A balanced red/blue pair of presenters from Braver Angels, widely known across the U.S. for their commitment to actively sharing practical ways to bridge the divide, wowed the near-capacity crowd, demonstrating that there really is hope! (more info - https://braverangels.org/)

Afterward, roughly thirty locals expressed interest in more information. Hopeful of learning how to hold respectful discussions across partisan lines, some of them began meeting monthly with local facilitators Jeff and Martha Kirishian to practice effective skills based on the Braver Angels model.

Jeff and Martha, members of Braver Angels since 2017, share a deep concern about the highly polarized political world. Aware that both liberals and conservatives are genuinely frightened that democracy is hanging on the results of the upcoming election, they point out that “when a person feels heard, it tends to lower the sense of threat.” That, in turn, can allow constructive conversation.

Jeff, with decades of experience as an educational psychologist, serves as the lead facilitator. Co-creator Martha actively supports participants in “live” practice conversations. Members of the group recognize the importance of working together and focusing on communication skills, not policy debate. As with the Braver Angels (with whom they are not formally affiliated), the group intentionally welcomes about equal numbers of conservatives and liberals.

Group guidelines, focused on sharing and learning, emphasize civility and a willingness to listen as well as speak. Participants explore the linked concepts of “Listen, Acknowledge, Pivot, and share your own Perspective (LAPP).” Learning to listen, acknowledge accurately what a practice partner has said, and then ask permission before offering an alternative perspective form a key pattern.

Gatherings open with a neutral topic that is likely to evoke strong feelings. Following the LAPP sequence allows participants to help each other learn how a constructive conversation can proceed. Committed to developing proficiency, all recognize that it takes practice, practice, practice to use the skills in day-to-day situations.

Because they meet on the last Friday of the month, some group members humorously refer to themselves as the “Last LAPP.”

For more information, contact Martha Kirishian, holden4love@gmail.com.