I love country and bluegrass music! The fiddle, banjo, mandolin, and all the singers' harmonies. Love me some Chris Stapleton- especially when he was with The SteelDrivers. While those tunes complement my Southern roots, only one genre will raise my ancestors from their graves: songs praising the name of Jesus. Fortunately, worship music has advanced in talent and production as the worship songs of the 80s royally sucked. Being a teen and a pastor's kid growing up in the 80s was not for the faint of heart. My Metallica and Guns N Roses cassette tapes were continually confiscated and replaced with bands deemed more "holy"- bands which brought on the cringe factor (Stryper- a band lookin' like a bunch of bumble bees in their Christian rock costumes). God deserved better. His people deserved better. Thankfully, His musicians and singers have excelled to heights unfathomable, leaving folks like me without an excuse to turn on a song once in a while (or more often) that praises Him.

Anyway, I was listening to my worship playlist on Pandora yesterday morning. Anne Wilson sang, "Ain't no sinner that He can't save," my mind immediately drifted to one particular soul. He hit his wife. He hit his kids. He cusses out his wife. He cusses out his kids. He made her a prisoner to his home, and more than once kicked his kids out of theirs. And for the woman, the coward, who chose him over her kids year after year, was no better, in my opinion. These were my thoughts (and judgments) as soon as Wilson sang about God's saving grace for EVERYONE. Of course, a few expletives were floating around as the song played on because, like the Prophet Isaiah, my thoughts and language must continually be renewed and purified (as I make an effort on the Sheriff's Blotter). Comforting God still can use us with our salty language, though when He asked us to be the salt of the earth, I'm sure He didn't mean drop WTF's and F-bombs everywhere.

The Holy Spirit whispers in these moments: "Are you done now Ang?" Not really. I'm really not done! And another thing that pisses me off about them is…but whatever. Understand that the Lord is patient with us. He allows us to vent. He listens to all of it. Expletives and all. Anger and all. He sees tears and all. But then He wants us to listen. Relationship…the give and take. He listens; therefore, we also need to listen. Soon, I felt the conviction to release the bitterness and resentment that still has roots, to keep forgiving even if I have to do it every DARN day, and to pray for these people. Am I praying for my enemies? Are you praying for yours? Indeed, we probably each have "one" in our lives deemed so despicable it is sometimes forgotten they aren't out of reach of Jesus. BUT- it's not just lip service prayer. It has to be a heartfelt prayer. We have to visualize with our spiritual eyes and see these souls touched by God, healed and the best version of themselves, to see someone as Christ sees them, and how they COULD be if He were allowed to work in their lives. Prayer changes things. Prayer changes people. Prayer changes me. Prayer changes you.

We all fall short. We all need grace and forgiveness and should extend it. Forgiveness doesn't require sitting at the Thanksgiving dinner table with an abuser or reading the Hallmark Card they sent. I get it-reading words is laughable when actions never match the expressed sentiments. For me, this results in the card meeting the trash can or being returned to the sender. I'm all for healthy boundaries! Jesus is, too!

Having recently finished reading To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee, my heart has been heavy thinking about all the black folks hung by white juries based on little to no evidence of a crime. There is no way to make those wrongs right in this lifetime. Not only does the author reveal ugly truths about racial discrimination but antisemitism. As one of her characters points out, "…Jews have been persecuted since the beginning of history, even driven out of their own country. It's one of the most terrible stories in history."

Whether it is abuse, bigotry, or antisemitism darkening the world around us, Jesus is the light breaking through the dark. As Anne Wilson sings, "Ain't no sinner that He can't save." God is good! Always!