Bigfoot spotted at BriarPatch Food Co-Op

(GRASS VALLEY) — Footage of the legendary Bigfoot, also known as Sasquatch, has been caught on film in the wee hours of morning at BriarPatch Food Co-op in Grass Valley. 

Employees were filming a short documentary about the history of cooperative grocery stores on Super 8mm film when they were startled by what appeared to be a 6-to-7 foot tall hairy beast walking down the aisles in lanky movements with arms swinging. 

“We were shooting this doco when we smelled a horrible odor. The next thing we knew, there was this tall greasy animal dude walking upright, with sticks and leaves stuck in its fur, plodding past the chip aisle,” said one of the camera crew, visibly shaken by the sighting. “It was so weird, man. He was loading his big hairy arms with oranges, popcorn, jerky, salami and even grabbed a really nice bottle of Dry Creek Zin. It was like he was gearing up to binge watch Bridgerton or something.” 

Bigfoot seemed agitated to have forgotten his reusable bags in the car, one employee noticed. 

The film crew caught what they could on film, but unfortunately the elusive beast lumbered off into the woods  off Litton Trail behind the Co-op before California Fish & Wildlife could arrive on site. 

Sightings of the mythical creature are not unheard of in Nevada County, according to the Bigfoot Field Researchers Organization. There have been 11 sightings in the county since 1958. Most recently, in July of 2006, campers at Malakoff Diggins State Park reported being approached by Bigfoot. In  2004, on a snowy winter night, a family reported seeing a 7-to- 8 foot tall creature with thick brown or black hair and two long  legs taking long strides to cross the snowy street illuminated by the headlights of their vehicle. 

Native cultures around the globe are filled with legends of wild men with names like Bigfoot, Sasquatch, Yeti of Nepal, Wendigo in Eastern Canada and “skoocooms” of Mount St. Helens. 

BriarPatch employees are anxiously preparing for the return of Bigfoot on April 1 at 10 am when a shipment of the biped’s favorite jerky is expected to arrive at the store. They ask that all members of the media schedule an appointment to interview Mr. Bigfoot in advance, to avoid spooking the hairy visitor. 

He’s a little camera shy. 

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