By Don Russell

Not unlike professional football, or national politics, the Great Yuba Pass Chili Cook-Off (GYPCCO) is a genteel substitute for war. It is, basically, a no-rules conflict between right and wrong, between good and evil. Representing the former are western county cooks. The east side will the represented by delusional participants convinced of their own rectitude. Eventually, we should pray for them all, but the first order of business is to demonstrate their unworthiness.

However, to preserve the fantasy of fairness, two east side citizens have been named judges. We don’t expect them to respond to decent bribes, but we hope to bury them through sheer numbers. They are pondering just what enticements they prefer.